Controlled Emotions = Power
not because you need power but because you have to protect your own (yourself)
Dear Pretty Girl,
One day, through your growth and life experiences, you will discover what you align with—your boundaries, your basic expectations for the people in your life, and the way you want to be treated.
I would love to say it all just comes to you, but looking back, it didn’t just come to me. This was years in the making. And I’m grateful that at 23, I’m working toward mastery and not figuring it out much later. Not judging women who discovered these things later—just acknowledging that finding out earlier is a blessing that I’m grateful to have received.
Lately, I’ve been moving with a sense of confidence and poise (lol, like I always have), but it’s different now. There’s something that awakens in you as a woman when you know what you want and separate yourself from anything that doesn’t align with it. I’ve created boundaries with things I never thought I’d be able to. I’ve ended relationships I never thought I would. I’ve stood firm in my beliefs regardless of how it made me look in the eyes of the majority.
Again, I’ve always been confident, but this is a different kind of movement through life. Especially as a woman, when you know what you align with, what you stand for, and you detach yourself from anything that isn’t in alignment with that—and stand firm in it—it gives you a sense of power within yourself.
Before we get to this point, we think it’s going to be some huge transformation. But sometimes the change is “small.”
For example, I know when people are off. They may be cool people in general, but something feels off about them. And as soon as I get that inkling, I don’t make excuses. I know what this is. Sometimes I know before they even do anything, and I create distance.
You remain professional. You remain respectful because we have bigger work to complete. But I do not have to grant everyone access to my personal space.
And I didn’t always move like that.
Standing firm in revelations and not feeling bad about them is another lesson. I don’t think I’ve spoken about this before, but we all have gifts. Whatever that gift is—some people have dreams that reveal things, some people have foresight, some people have visions. I used to feel bad about my revelations. I would be early in a revelation and immediately feel guilty. Guilty because I had labeled people what they had essentially labeled themselves. Lord bless my heart. But no. It was a revelation, not a suggestion.
This is weird. That is weird. Back to regularly scheduled programming.
It is what it is.
I do not have to align myself with anything that makes me uncomfortable. Having enough LOVE to protect myself, my peace, and my energy guides me to move accordingly.
Another example: not getting embarrassed. Literally saying to myself, “This will not make me feel embarrassed. I am a human being who makes mistakes.”
Or, “This person annoyed me and actively tried to get me to that point. But I will not allow that to dictate my mood or energy for the rest of the day.”
Do what you need to do with the work or project in front of you. But take the necessary breaks. Get your sweet treat. Use your inhale-exhale anger de-escalator. Whatever works for you.
But when you make that a HABIT, you move differently.
Why?
Because YOU are in control.
YOU are finally in control of your emotions.
One day, someone may tell you, “Don’t let your emotions control you.”
That’s what they mean.
We often say these things without explaining them. Whole time, there’s a process before that part: understanding HOW your emotions are controlling you, identifying what you personally need to decompress in a healthy way, doing what needs to be done (whether that’s working with the person— if you still have to, removing the person from your life completely— if you’re able to, or something else), all while still allowing yourself to feel your feelings without letting them dictate your next move.
Like somebody annoyed you badly, and now you’re canceling your plans for the day?
No. (If you genuinely need to, fine.) But maybe go outside. Clear your head. Take a walk.
That’s taking control.
Good luck, pretty girls. We got this.
Sincerely,
the Pretty Girl CEO